Big World <3 B!GG3R H3@RT!!!!!!

With this world being as big as it is, I remember feeling so frightened at the fact that all of my parents passed away, divorce, and dogs dying. And I remember feeling like all the people I loved and trusted with my life turned their backs on me and abandoned me. It's funny how people will never agree that they left you feeling the way they did. YET, my job as a human girl was to learn how to forgive and find the purity in my heart for myself. I thought that was the end of my world.... And it was!

That was the day that Lil Qua with abandonment issues died to that bully. And, I rose! Abandonment which was one of my greatest child hood fears thought it crushed me. And for a while, I thought it would leave me crushed. The thing that I held on to the most was knowing in my heart that there was and is a GOD. I am here. I was crushed but I had trust that God wanted to show me something. I felt it in my body that there was reasoning going on beyond my little ole understanding.

I felt naked, afraid, and felt like there is an invisible line that me and my siblings can't see but we are all waiting next to die. I was so scared of the world, I imagined me being inside and the outside was full of zombies..... (Social Anxiety) I didn't feel like I lost hope... at least not long term. I knew I was going somewhere before all of that happened. I just felt like some words came to me in mourning and now my job was to distinguish the difference between my words, God's words, and the world's (or Satan's) words.

Soooo, I just remember I rose and I rode. lol, I rode out and left everybody and everything holding me back looking back on it. I am so proud of myself and I feel like such a big girl! Yayyyy! I mean sure, Im grown... But imagine walking for the first time and having parents to cheer you on and being so proud of you... I know my mom and all of my parents. Even though she, my dad, grandmothers and granddads are passed away sleep, I accept all of their proudness of me inside my spirit, mind, and heart.

I feel less abandoned... I feel like I never have to force that thing we do when we are trying to make someone the most proud. I know God is with me, in me, and watching me! He feels what I feel, He knows what I know. So He knows what I have, don't have, need, and even want. I am so happy and again Proud that I turned to Him even during those times. And He allowed me to see Him. How can I be abandoned when I have Him, My Heavenly Father with me daily, being fed by Him and making Him Proud? I'll see my parents again someday when Jesus comes back.

Writing is an art to me. Making my videos is an art to me. Taking and posting pictures is an art to me. Creating my stuff, speaking, talking about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, my journey, dreams, and visions is an art to me. Doing all the things I want to do with the full support of my Father, My Creator, The one who waked me up, guides me, teaches me, and supplies the way for me is truly an art to me. Living life is really art TO ME.

I can't take the opportunity for granted by not doing all the things that feeds into my pot called Living Life.

This world is big. But my Heart!!!! MY Heart is wayyyyy Bigggaaaa. I can do what I want, and have it all through Christ.

I am not who the word says or think I am.

I am not who the world says or think I should be.

I do not live in pain, suffering, trauma, bondage, or lack.

I am supposed to be who I am.

I have purpose.

I am free.

I am enough.

I am blessed plentiful and abundantly with Support, Grace, Mercy, and Favor!

I have everything I need to keep going.

Arts Of Mental Clarity :) <3